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El Kemala

Abu Ismail: World's first salafi Santa

Written by Makarona Dec 18th, 2012
12/18/2012 - 11:57

EKT has just learned that onetime presidential contender and leader of the emerging Islamist Baltageya Association (IBA), Hazem Abu Ismail, previously worked as Santa Clause at a mall in California. The image to the right shows two children sitting on his lap right after they found out that this Santa was, in fact, a salafi. Abu Ismail admitted to EKT that he had sent his minions to besiege Cairo’s Media Production...

Yoda recruited by Supreme Military Council

Written by Makarona Jul 5th, 2011
05/29/2011 - 20:59

State TV broadcast live footage yesterday of the first meeting between the Supreme Council of the Armed Forces (SCAF) and newly appointed "Wisdom Advisor" Yoda. It remains unclear why Yoda has decided to join the dark side of the force at this time. Questions are also being raised about how the green sage -- long presumed to have died in a galaxy far far away -- made his way to Cairo in the 21st centry. Currently,...

Delay behind Mubarak prison transfer uncovered

Written by Makarona Jun 17th, 2011
06/17/2011 - 13:16

Despite repeated confirmations that former President Mubarak would be incarcerated in Tora Prison once his health improves, this has yet to happen – even after being spotted in his hospital wing last week playing the hula hoop while listening to the 90s smash hit I’m a Barbie Girl. Now inside sources have confirmed to EKT that the real reason for the delay is due to a missing component from the engine expected to...

EKT to recommence

Written by Makarona Nov 8th, 2010
Monday, 8th of November, 2010

Dear EKT readers, When the World Cup began last June, EKT staff escaped to Turkey for a mystical Sufi retreat after Subar Lox saw an ad for it in Al-Waseet. We hoped the one way journey would give us time to contemplate the void left by Egypt’s failure to qualify. Unfortunately, after spinning in circles for days on end and still not being able to shake off our depression, we finally gave up on enlightenment and...

Woods Pens Major Sponsorship Deal with Aazra'

Written by Subar Lox Mar 11th, 2010
Some of the shrewd and shocking promotional material

After a career-threatening scandal, Tiger Woods penned a deal last week with Egypt's controversial 3arza2 sex shop to promote its products for as long as it takes him to return to golf. 3azra2, Egypt's first and only known sex shop, is hoping this major signing will help it recover from an earlier setback regarding its logo, which forced it to shut down. (Click here, then scroll down for more info about 3azra2.)...