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Egyptian Sunni man spontaneously converts to Shia Islam

Some Egyptians anxious that Iranian tourists may convert unwitting Sunnis.

| Written by makarona

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 14:23

A local Sunni man reportedly converted to Shia Islam only hours after Iran announced an easing of visa restrictions for Egyptian tourists this week. The conversion took the otherwise good Sunni Muslim by complete surprise.

"I don't understand how it happened," the man told Ahram Online moments before being mobbed by his neighbours, "I just woke up and suddenly found myself self-flagellating while really wishing that Ali was the first caliph, not Abu-Bakr."

His neighbours contemptuously screamed the Transformers star's name at him as they beat him, calling him Shia LaBeouf, a well known Iranian secret agent.

The Sunni-Shia rift is said to have occurred due to a disagreement over the prophet's successor, and had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that competing states invariably institutionalize religions in order to use them as oppressive tools to justify an elite minority monopolizing all wealth, authority and punani.

In Egypt -- the capital of which was founded in 969 by the Fatimid caliphate, a Shia empire that also built Al-Azhar mosque and invented SpongeBob Square Pants, an Egyptian icon -- there are concerns that visiting Iranian tourists will now cause more spontaneous conversions in a country where many men are notorious for having very little self-control.

"Shia Islam is like a scantily dressed woman in the street," said one sectarian, professional sexual harasser from Imbaba, "of course it will tempt us."

The Egyptian Tourism Minister, Baabas El-Siyaha, reportedly wants Iranians tourists restricted to monuments and beaches and away from Islamic sites -- otherwise, there is a risk that they may hijack a mosque and use its speakers to proclaim "CONVERT TO SHIA ISLAM NOW!", thereby instantly converting thousands of unwitting Sunnis in the surrounding neighbourhood.

If successful, analysts say this would bring Shia Muslims -- who are known to be working with Sufis and other Free Masons such as Mohamed ElBaradei -- one step closer to transforming Egypt into a Zionist suburb of Israel.

Anonymous

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:31

Lol, what's the name of the tourism minister?

Anonymous

Sat, 04/13/2013 - 22:22

Whoever wrote this article (and yes I realise this site is for this kind of thing) is running over the red line by saying things like
"The Sunni-Shia rift is said to have occurred due to a disagreement over the prophet's successor, and had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that competing states invariably institutionalize religions in order to use them as oppressive tools to justify an elite minority monopolizing all wealth, authority and punani."

Taking the piss out of something so positive as Iranian Egyptian relations beginning to open up is not okay. I do agree it is silly that everyone thinks Iran is going to convert Egyptians to Shi'ites but the above statement is not okay. Too judgmental. Especially when this is one of the biggest signs that the Egyptian government is now acting in the interests of the country by opening up relations with other Islamic nations and getting rid of this ridiculous nationalism we Egyptians seem to base our whole identity on.

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