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ElBaradei reveals he is a trained Jedi Master

"We didn’t see that one coming," say intimidated authorities

| Written by makarona

Sun, 03/14/2010 - 13:30

News that Mohamed ElBaradei can manipulate “the force” has shaken Egypt’s governing party.

The winner of the Nobel "Hottest Mustache" Prize announced his powers by revealing his lightsaber during a meeting with "rebel" opposition parties in Egypt. He also claimed he is better known as "El-Barajedi" among inter-planetary circles.

According to National Democratic Party (NDP) spokesperson, Jaba El Koshk, “The announcement changes everything.” The NDP had already drawn up rough plans to discredit ElBaradei, 67, as being too old to run for president, unlike the current party leader, who has used technology to stabilize his biological age permanently at 60.

However, given that Jedis can live for a very long time, El Koshk says the NDP may have to discredit him using more severe methods, such as by calling him an American agent, or worse, a "Zamalkawi."

ElBaradei, who is demanding constitutional changes that ensure fair elections, as well as the right for men to wear ballet costumes freely, has warned he still retains much of his Jedi skills, often using the force to tickle his grandchildren from a distance.

Indeed, some are already speculating whether ElBaradei's mastery of the “force choke” had something to do with a recent gall bladder incident.

What is certain is that some of ElBaradei’s odd behavior now makes sense. For instance, it was reported that while giving an unscheduled speech to members of parliament at the People’s Assembly, ElBaradei suddenly commanded somberly while waving his hand: “You no longer accept bribes.”

It appears at this point, though, that ElBaradei was merely showing off his skill with the Jedi Mind Trick, knowing full well it wouldn't work on changing habits of a near genetic nature.

Nevertheless, the Jedi Master has stated that if he becomes president, he will bring balance to the force in Egypt, unleashing an army of R2D2s to remove the heaps of garbage from the country’s streets.

However, challenges may lie ahead. Since ElBaradei’s announcement, rumours have been mounting that a very senior member of the NDP may in fact be a Sith Lord. There are whispers in Egypt’s blogosphere that he is preparing to unleash his young padawan, simply known as Darth Jimmy.

Anonymous

Sun, 03/14/2010 - 23:52

R2D2s won't work !
We will need a generation of Wall-E's first to clean all the garbage.
R2D2s and C-3PO's could however help with education (They will need updated software, and an MIB kinda gadget to erase all prior knowledge) .

Baradei better get his plans sorted correctly otherwise he will be drawn easily to the Dark Side

Anonymous

Mon, 03/15/2010 - 12:28

That was hilarious!!

Anonymous

Tue, 03/16/2010 - 22:06

hahahahahahahahahahaha, that's realy hilarious :D

Alaily

Tue, 03/16/2010 - 23:31

Haha! Star Wars nerds :P

Aboul-Romy

Wed, 03/17/2010 - 17:26

Darth Jimmy... Hilarious.

A.Wafik

Thu, 03/18/2010 - 14:48

I love it !!

" The NDP had already drawn up rough plans to discredit ElBaradei, 67, as being too old to run for president, unlike the current party leader, who has used technology to stabilize his biological age permanently at 60. "

That was one of the funniest(/appears to be truthful) things I've ever read.

Ahmed Hatem

Sun, 03/21/2010 - 21:37

the force is strong with him

Haisam

Mon, 03/22/2010 - 17:11

Do, or do not. There is no try.

HM

Tue, 03/23/2010 - 19:57

I personally do not think el barad-jedi is ready to bring back the old republic. He still needs to learn more about the force.

Hadeer Basyouni

Tue, 03/23/2010 - 21:44

this is 2 Ahmed Hatem we can tell that you watch starwars good 4 u. and as 4 A. Wafik, dnt u think that ur commnt is a little wimpy 4 a boy (only if ur a guy) I love it !! just seems 2 girrly. first anonymous is da most desparet guy 2 show he knws starwars.

Concerned Expatriate

Sun, 03/28/2010 - 19:37

Let's hope the Emperor does not release Darth Vader on this Jedi.

CKhan

Wed, 03/31/2010 - 00:10

Anonymous is right:

"R2D2s won't work !" At least not for picking up garbage. They have no hands! Of course, a true Jedi needs no hands, so he has no need for the 'droids - just levitate the garbage and float it to the dump.

Street cleaning is, however, a full time job, even for a Jedi master. So perhaps he should just forget about running for anything and apply for the job of "Chief Sanitation Engineer". Come to think of it, that is very much along the lines of his prior professional experience, isn't it?

Anonymous

Fri, 04/02/2010 - 05:51

hadeer, don't you have anything better to do?

Ahmad

Wed, 04/07/2010 - 01:26

"Jaba El Koshk" :D

ShashSha

Thu, 04/08/2010 - 14:00

+100000 Anonymous!

a few thousand Wall-Es in Egypt would be soooooo helpful for the garbage crisis... send evil Veolia back to France

Honey

Thu, 05/13/2010 - 16:57

Amazing, this is!

Master Yoda style ;) looool

Mega

Fri, 05/21/2010 - 05:09

OMG..I could already have a vision of a veiled Padmé!

TareX

Thu, 06/10/2010 - 05:35

"Or worse, a Zamalkawi"

LOL... Heaven forbid.

WebDeveloper

Fri, 07/23/2010 - 21:51

Funniest I have ever read in Egypt.

And the jabba the koshk comment was amazing.

ibra

Mon, 11/22/2010 - 17:22

hilarious loooooooooooooooool force be up on him and lead his way :)

Ta2leya

Wed, 12/15/2010 - 00:34

Hahahahah!! I like I love I adore!!

Mario

Mon, 04/11/2011 - 12:14

I have read an article at some shared info source, that no one trusts ElBaradei. I clearly remember his role in the IAEA 2003 when he addressed the UN security council, his report left ambiguous gaps that the USA interpreted as Iraq's not fully complying with UN resolution.
I am sure Elbaradei knew what we all know today that Iraq never had weapons of mass destruction.

edith howard

Thu, 05/19/2011 - 11:13

I love the wit--God knows we need to be cheered up especially with the latest news of The Successor

Anthony

Fri, 11/11/2011 - 22:05

Mohamed ElBarade is a funny prick and should be taken seriously. He knew all along that Iraq did not have weapons of mass destruction and he did nothing.

Dave Johanson

Mon, 11/28/2011 - 21:03

Hahaha is this actually true, I saw this on lte phones and I really couldn't believe it was true. Did anyone see this live?

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