Wed, 10/21/2009 - 14:15
The district of Imbaba has just unveiled its new "international" airport, offering passengers quick flights to Helwan, Shobra and Esaaf. The airport is the brainchild of the Authority for Microbus Advancement and Maintenance (AMAN), which hopes to reduce vehicle collisions caused by its drivers by sending them to navigate the less congested skies.
The airport is to host a flock of eighteen AirBus 141 aircrafts running on “anabeeb ghaz”, or butane gas. These will be the first airplanes in the history of aviation to carry car horns, a feature insisted on by AMAN, which recognizes its ex-microbus drivers' (now pilots) neurotic need to randomly beep.
Each flight will also host a highly trained comsary (bus conductor), who will be responsible for hanging out of the plane’s door to chant out the destination of the flight before take-off. “This will be crucial for avoiding any confusion,” said Edini Zomara, one of the new ex-microbus driver pilots.
Among the safety features of the initiative, any excess of passengers to the 16 available seats on each flight will be limited to no more than 70 standing individuals. Likewise, a maximum of eight vendors of Chinese gadgets will be allowed to board, and only five bicycles. Finally, used plastic bags will be stuffed in the fuselage before take-off in order to reduce damage to passengers in the event of crashing. “That way,” says Zomara, “we can get people to their destination safely and help clean the streets of Imbaba.”
Currently, no one is sure how the planes will drop passengers off, as there are no runways in Shobra or Helwan. One suggested option is encouraging passengers to read a verse from the Koran before jumping off onto their destination, thereby reducing the chances of them getting hurt by solidity of the ground. Others have criticized the idea as too daring, and have suggested that the government should subsidize the small aircrafts so pilots can just crash them into their destinations before replacing them with a new one after each flight.
Regardless, experts expect that if the so called “Imbabian Connection” becomes a success, the streets of Greater Cairo might witness a drop in the number of vehicles roaming the city from the current 6.23 trillion, to a less nonsensical number.
At this time, El Koshary Today would like to take this opportunity to thank the Imbaba authorities for their tremendous work, and looks forward to observing the next exciting phase in the project: maintenance.