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Life-saving traffic lights introduced in Cairo

Multi-million dollar animated lights help drivers "focus"

| Written by wardzeyada

Wed, 12/02/2009 - 18:51

The Cairo Traffic Authority has implemented yet another revolutionary strategy in the streets of the City Victorious. After breaking its own annual record of 72,473 driver deaths and 89,253 pedestrian fatalities (with 23 species going extinct), the CTA has decided to step up its efforts and further enhance residents' lives.

The initiative has been dubbed the Hazard-less Animated and Dynamic Signs Arrangement, or HADSA, introducing neon-lit street signs in pointedly random areas, such as near where government officials reside. The new collection includes a creative variety with a twist of Egyptian wit. One sign shows a helpless little green-lit man running for his life at lightning speed, only to be run-over by a 4 x 4, and then crushed by a truck.

“This helps convey a realistic message,” explains Enta Keda Hateddas, head of HADSA and coincidently the one responsible for the importation of the severely-priced gadgets from Taiwan. “This way, pedestrians will comprehend the seriousness of the situation, and can therefore make wiser decisions like stay at home.”

Another sign that has impressed the crowds are the upward and downward arrows placed at the start and finish of bridges. “Simple!” declared Mr. Hateddas, “We bought signs for the left and right curves and rotated them 90 degrees. That way we can reduce confusion for drivers on bridges, and also help mollify passengers who frequently enter unexplainable panic attacks and nervous breakdowns when approaching a bridge.”

Along with the signs, the CTA has also purchased and installed enormous screen panels across Gamaet El Dewal Street that successfully grab drivers' attention using psychedelic imagery while displaying a clear message: Keep your attention focused on the road. Bizarrely, areas near these screens have been witnessing an increase in road fatalities lately.

Such a landmark movement is always accompanied by a hefty price tag. Fortunately, only a third of the budgets for education and health-care were sacrificed to cover the costs, making this “possibly Egypt’s best budgeting decision yet,” as Mr. Hateddas indicates.

Initial indications have demonstrated the project's effectiveness. The number of patients going through therapy for “fear of confronting bridges”, and the number of cars that automatically ram into a sidewalk on turns, have remained at zero.

After the positive feedback, the CTA is looking into expanding to all of the “critical” parts of Cairo, while less significant areas are urged to wait for their main roads to be paved. According to reports published by the National Democratic Party, natives to poorer areas feel honored to make basic sacrifices for their more valuable counterparts.

Kris

Thu, 12/03/2009 - 11:37

Personally, I came up with an idea to reduce the level of car horn usage around Alex.
There should be signs around reading
"HONK IF YOU ARE GAY!"

Munqy

Mon, 12/07/2009 - 13:31

Brilliant! I especially like the little green man shown at Zebra crossings. It reminds of an animated Olympic long-jump tutorial.

Ibn el gu3a

Mon, 12/07/2009 - 17:59

Dear Kris, that could possibly even increase the honking.
Better "honk if you're algerian", ain't it?

Anonymous

Tue, 12/08/2009 - 17:44

irrelevant data ...
signs occupy pedestrian walking spaces at your picture ...
your sources of information are governmental obviously.
The situation is more disastrous than you describe ... they need to review the codes for traffic roads configuration.

Of course at 0 if they block pedestrian passage ... they will ride around the spot, pollute more air, die somewhere else, meanwhile Egypt will continue behave as HOAX and THIEVES ... and your article is their certificate.
XXIst century Christmas decoration may be.
(but we are not going to throw anything at the made in china lights they will stop blinking by themselves, or early recycling toktok decoration)

leMc

Wed, 12/09/2009 - 04:39

safety measures poster session ...
you might as well find the environment panel in Tahrir square reducing the public buses fumes and making the air fresher.
(regardless the oxygen depletion)

Jasmine Maklad

Wed, 12/09/2009 - 10:12

Dear El Koshary Authors,

I am currently teaching a course in Rhetoric and Composition at AUC and as part of the course my students have been asked to take the ideas of their research paper create a piece which would be suitable for El-Koshary.

We would appreciate it if you could help us in any way,giving students advice, commenting on entries, or perhaps even selecting the best one for a prize.

I have left my email above and would greatly appreciate if you, and not the secret service, would get in touch.

Jasmine
ps you can check my credentials on the AUC website.

Mo-ha-med

Sat, 12/12/2009 - 15:37

"Hazard-less Animated and Dynamic Signs Arrangement, or HADSA"
Lovely touch ya wardzeyada. :)

Razar

Tue, 01/19/2010 - 04:15

LOVE the article. It's a good'un, and no mistake!
It actually helped pique my interest; Are there really traffic lights in Egypt now? Has traffic become believably chaotic, or is it still at its' usual "unbelievably chaotic" levels?
I'd also really like to know if the figures quoted for road related fatalities are real or not. I mean, they're entirely believable, which only makes the situation more tragic, and the story more compelling.

ps
Re: Jasmine Maklad
Are you really a teacher? It's just that the sentence structure, grammatical omissions and lax punctuation makes me truly wonder.... Unless, of course, you're teaching in america or lebanon, which would quite make sense of it all for me.....

Don Liston

Wed, 02/03/2010 - 00:05

Razar, are you leading a movement against good grammar and trying to recruit more help?
Both America and Lebanon are proper nouns and require capitalization.
So let's assume that you are teaching in either America or Lebanon or just some high school freshman hoping to correct someone you perceive as a second language speaker when you are not really passing English classes without the help of your friends.
Fair enough?
Don

Doode

Mon, 03/15/2010 - 12:41

That was side splitting funny...

@Don: nice one :)

Donnald

Thu, 06/24/2010 - 17:37

It looks like the car accident statistics are pretty dramatic in Cairo, thousands of deaths is a lot just for an year in one single are. Let's hope that those sidewalk signs will meet their purpose although I think it takes a lot more than that to lower the number of deaths...

Meat Slicers

Sun, 01/02/2011 - 23:12

Has anyone been to Cairo? this sign might help but its still not enough!

kash

Thu, 01/26/2012 - 08:20

I'd also really like to know if the figures quoted for road related fatalities are real or not. I mean, they're entirely believable, which only makes the Ios On Android Phone situation more tragic, and the story more compelling.

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