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Destroy The Butterflies

Averting the next major crisis

| Written by subarlox

Tue, 10/27/2009 - 09:28

We're all familiar with the phrase The Butterfly Effect. Indeed, many have had the misfortune of seeing the film named after it. The idea is that a butterfly flapping its wings in Bangladesh could lead to a tidal wave in Japan, or to note a well documented example: when Queen Elizabeth sneakily passed gas during tea time in 1989, it culminated in the current financial crisis.

Familiar as you might be with the butterfly effect however, you are not familiar enough. According to Dr. Makhboul Rasmi, a scientist working at Azhar hospital with a joint degree in gynecology and quantum physics, butterflies themselves might actually be the key to averting future disasters.

"It came to me in a moment of inspiration," Dr. Rasmi told EKT, "I was az-azing some lib and suddenly I realized that we have to kill all the butterflies in Egypt!"

Dr. Rasmi went on to explain that the solution to combating climate change lay silently hidden in the popular phrase the "butterfly effect". “These little insects actually have the power to cause tidal waves!” says the quantum physical gynecologist. “We need to exterminate them immediately and avert any more disasters caused by them!”

The doctor claims that by ridding Egypt, and eventually the whole world, of butterflies, we will save ourselves and humanity from their devastating effects. That is, the world could basically avert the looming climate crisis, and possibly even mend the current financial one.

“All I did was just put two and two together,” he explains. “By eliminating the butterflies we would also be stopping any crisis where they might act as the middle-men, or to be precise, middle-insects. So really there is no way to tell how many lives could be saved."

Dr. Rasmi said he is currently writing a paper to submit to the Copenhagen Climate Summit committee for review at the end of this year. He told EKT that in it he cited the success of the recent culling of the pigs in Egypt as bullet-proof evidence that his proposal will work.


Thu, 10/29/2009 - 00:50

I completely agree with Dr Rasmi. In fact I heard that the Egyptian government is not only adopting his proposal but they might extend it to kill all the Egyptians. Killing the Egyptians would solve a lot of problems including, unemployment, corruption, poverty, hunger, lack of health care, housing, pollution, climate change, traffic congestion, the MB, terrorism, tension between Muslims and Christians and The Baha'ai community will not complain of not being allowed a relegion on their National IDs.

Given that none of the pigs have filed any complaints against their method of culling, the Government is actively studying if burning Egyptians alive with caustic chemicals would also work. Egyptian humans it is said might however have developed more resistance than pigs as their skin is constantly exposed to caustic pollution in the air.

I urge EKT to investigate this matter, some Egyptians might find it useful to know.


Thu, 10/29/2009 - 21:18

It is true, the government has been looking into ways to finally rid the world of Egyptians and have found their resistance to chemical toxins a bit of a stumbling block. They also found the sheer number of Egyptians is a problem as well, not only in terms of the killing but also finding a site for the bodies.

The government has, however, found some hope in the general apathy of Egyptians, considering the conditions most live under now - what's a little more pain and death?

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