Wed, 12/16/2009 - 03:57
As the Copenhagen Climate Conference comes to an inconclusive end, Egypt has stood out amongst the global community as willing to sacrifice its most beloved staple food, foul, in the name of combating climate change.
“Foul is a menace to the climate,” said Farid Lafasya, head of the Forbidding Flatulence Committee in Faisal Street. “The amount of gas passed from Egyptian bottoms thanks to foul each day is enough to fuel our cities for a year, if only we could but harness its power.”
For now, however, the gas is leaking out into the atmosphere, tramping reflected sunlight from escaping back into space, as well as forcing migrating birds to sidestep Egypt on their way south to avoid the smell.
Zidan Zarta, an avid foul consumer, who also heads the Foul-tastic Health Association (an organization that believes most diseases, including Swine Flu and AIDS, can be cured by an ample dosage of foul), is not convinced. “This is just another attempt at propaganda by Abou Tarek and other koshary gang leaders to get more koshary customers,” he claims.
Zarta and Lafasya were seen outside the Cairo Courthouse late last Wednesday night engaged in a fist fight. Reports claim Lafasya nearly had Zarta when he punched him hard in the stomach, but, in a stunning turn of events, the punch prompted Zarta to release a particularly pungent brotta that left Lafasya unconscious.
Ideological rivalries aside, the scene is set for Egypt to be the first developing nation to make the sort of sacrifice expected of non-developing countries. There is even talk that Egypt will reduce "oral emissions" produced during parliamentary debates.