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Egypt at Copenhagen: "We will reduce our gas emissions by banning foul consumption"

Gas produced by consuming foul is known to be responsible for 40% of Egypt’s greenhouse gas emissions

| Written by EKT Team

Wed, 12/16/2009 - 03:57

As the Copenhagen Climate Conference comes to an inconclusive end, Egypt has stood out amongst the global community as willing to sacrifice its most beloved staple food, foul, in the name of combating climate change.

Foul is a menace to the climate,” said Farid Lafasya, head of the Forbidding Flatulence Committee in Faisal Street. “The amount of gas passed from Egyptian bottoms thanks to foul each day is enough to fuel our cities for a year, if only we could but harness its power.”

For now, however, the gas is leaking out into the atmosphere, tramping reflected sunlight from escaping back into space, as well as forcing migrating birds to sidestep Egypt on their way south to avoid the smell.

Zidan Zarta, an avid foul consumer, who also heads the Foul-tastic Health Association (an organization that believes most diseases, including Swine Flu and AIDS, can be cured by an ample dosage of foul), is not convinced. “This is just another attempt at propaganda by Abou Tarek and other koshary gang leaders to get more koshary customers,” he claims.

Zarta and Lafasya were seen outside the Cairo Courthouse late last Wednesday night engaged in a fist fight. Reports claim Lafasya nearly had Zarta when he punched him hard in the stomach, but, in a stunning turn of events, the punch prompted Zarta to release a particularly pungent brotta that left Lafasya unconscious.

Ideological rivalries aside, the scene is set for Egypt to be the first developing nation to make the sort of sacrifice expected of non-developing countries. There is even talk that Egypt will reduce "oral emissions" produced during parliamentary debates.

Concerned Expatriate

Sun, 12/20/2009 - 13:41

As an Egyptian expatiate living in Burkina Fasso, I will help each of my countrymen harness the potential energy generated by them through the exportation of high quality cork plugs to prevent the premature and uncontrolled release of natural gases. Controlled release of gases will take place at the Ministry of Natural Resource deposit stations under the supervision of his honorable Mr. Allout Gayaz.

Concerned Expatriate

Sun, 12/20/2009 - 14:46

After having read this article, I phoned the Egyptian minister of Natural Resources, Mr. Alloot Gayaz who said that the average Egyptian citizen does not give a fart about his country's well being.
Therfore as a concerned Egyptian expatriate presently living in Burkina Fasso, I would like to contribute my services to the plight of my countrymen by exporting high quality cork plugs to harness the great potential energy produced daily by Egyptians.
This odoriferous energy will be discharged at the Ministry of Natural Resources storage reservoirs situated on Orifice road near midan Tayaz under the close supervision of his honorable Mr. Alloot Gayaz.
The storage reservoirs will be stored 100 feet underground to prevent "waking-up the dead" in case of gas leakage.
Please conserve & don't waste.


Thu, 12/31/2009 - 13:21

Foul by name, foul by nature, I say.I think this is a great idea, quite apart from its usefulness in promoting koshary. I was impressed by the governemnt's earlier attempt to reduce egypt's eco-footprint by sacrificing all the pigs. But as the little squalers tend to eat only rubbish anyway it misfired. Vive le koshary!

Mustafa Shousha

Wed, 02/10/2010 - 04:26

Foul has many benefits. One of them is that it contains " Folatism " Vitamine as said by Dr. Samir Ghanem. It also beats natural gas as an energy source. Hence, you can say "Foul" is a hybrid fuel as it is an energy of about 90% of the Egyptian people and also can be used as a renewable energy source...after eating it !

magdi habachi

Wed, 02/17/2010 - 21:28

... and she said while weaping her eyes with a paper tissue: It is only because of our great wize leader that today we have this ozone issue, Let's wish him a happy koshary sandwitch.

Mustapha Mahmoud

Sat, 10/09/2010 - 16:38

Report by: Egyptian Poor

"Foul Consumers All Over the World, Unite!" Agency issued a statement denouncing any attempt to jeopardize credit of the foul to the mass>
Adel Medames, Head of the Agency says: "we condemn any attempt to defame holy foul, adding that it has a metabolic advantage as it increases gas level inside the body and, hence, works as the ONLY outlet to the poor Egyptians.

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